October is Pastor Appreciation Month

When I started blogging I didn't really have any grand ideas about what I was going to share or even what 'theme' my blog would have. It wasn't until I found Peggy's blog that I even became interested in blogging in the first place. Often, after visiting her, I went away feeling encouraged; determined to be a better daughter of God, a better wife and a better mother. I found her to be a good example of the woman in Titus 2:3-5.

I have occasionally prayed for such a woman to be sent into my life. Someone that I could go to and seek advice from. Someone who would pray with and for me in times of discouragement and also rejoice with me in the good times. I need someone who has already traveled the twisting, winding road that I seem all too often, to get lost on. God has not answered my prayer as of yet. Quite possibly because I haven't been diligent enough in my prayer life asking for her. I'm sure He's got someone special in mind though. So, I wait.

I do enjoy blogging, but most times I don't feel like I have anything all that worthy to blog about. I'm a simple gal, not having fancy or flowery words to make the everyday things in life seem interesting or exciting. Most times I don't feel capable of sharing my opinion on various topics, discussions or events going on in the world. Yes, I have learned a few things in my almost 39yrs. of life, but I figure everyone else has already learned them too. So, I generally just sit back and glean from others and only post things that are rather simplistic in nature and probably pretty boring to most.

By now you're probably wondering what all that babble has to do with the title of my blog. I guess nothing. It's just me trying to share a bit of myself with you. And if you continue to read, you'll learn something else about me too.

I guess you could say that I have some experience with knowing how important it is to show your Pastor how much you appreciate him. I know because-- I am a Pastor's wife! Surprised?! I know I haven't mentioned it here before and truth be told, I still have reservations about sharing it. But as with most things I do, there's a reason. Sometimes it's not always a good reason, but there usually IS a reason. In this case it's Pastor Appreciation Month.

Most of you that stop by Seasons of the Heart don't know me personally. For me, this blog has been an escape of sorts. I feel like I can come here and not be constantly judged or scrutinized for every single thing I say or do. Of course I know that the Lord is watching me and I'm careful not to bring shame to His name. However, when people find out that I'm a Pastor's wife I tend to be placed in that ever dreaded fishbowl. You may think it terrible of me to want to keep that part of my life private, but my reasons, however strange some think they might be, can only be qualified by past experiences in my life that are personal and too painful to share publicly.

I have only spoken to a handful of people about the day my husband approached me with the news that he felt God was calling him into full-time ministry. My husband was already an Elder in our local church at that time, and our pastor, who was also our friend, recommended my husband for the lay pastor training program in our area. I remember, to this very day, my exact response to my husband. I said: "You may feel like the Lord is calling you to be a Pastor, but He's NOT calling me to be a Pastor's wife!" I know, that wasn't very supportive was it? At the time, I didn't want to be supportive. I was scared to death! What if someone were to ask me biblical questions? After all, I would be expected to know everything about the Bible. What if someone sought council for a personal problem and asked me to pray with them-- alone? What if I was asked to lead a women's group or fill some other office that I felt unworthy to fill? What if someone from the congregation came over to our house and found that it was untidy? What if I had to prepare a meal for them at the spur of the moment? Oh yeah, and our children weren't perfect and I certainly wasn't perfect!! Nope, I was not willing to subject myself to the discomforts of being a Pastor's wife. Did you catch how many times I used the word "I"?

I have grown since then and have learned that being perfect is a goal and not a given. I still don't feel adequate, but the Lord is making up for where I lack. There have been many a time when I've messed up. Not just little mistakes mind you... big ones! I pray though that I've learned from each one, and that those mistakes won't be repeated in the future.

One of the things I've learned as the wife of a Pastor is that my job is not primarily to be there for the church. I am to be the wife that my husband needs me to be. That's not to say that I'm not involved with what goes on in the church. I have filled several positions over the years. It just so happens that right now, I'm not needed in some of those areas and this has given me the chance to concentrate on the home more. What my husband needs from me is that I be supportive and submissive. In order for him to fulfill his calling, I must do what's expected of me at home. He needs me to pray for him, listen to him, speak encouraging words to him, keep our home, care for our children, to love him-- and all with a humble heart and a willing spirit. Hmm, I see I have some more work to do because as I said before, I'm not perfect-- yet! :)

Recently I read a statement that Lynette Kemp (another Pastor's wife) had to share and I must admit, that for the most part, I have subscribed to this line of thinking for myself. She states: "I realize my limitations so I have made it a rule that I avoid giving advice and defer theological questions to my husband, but I can make a contribution in my own way with the talents God has given me."

Being in full-time Ministry, like many other things in life, is not easy. However, ministry life carries different sets of challenges that you wouldn't normally encounter in other job arenas.
If you are ever curious to know what kinds of challenges your pastor has to deal with, I encourage you to read articles or books that deal with that very subject. Or, better yet, determine to befriend your Pastor and his family... get to know them as people. In time, you'll start to see and understand more clearly.

Pastors have left the ministry for numerous reasons, but among them are: they don't feel supported or valued by their church congregation. They get discouraged, beat down, and it brings on much stress and sometimes burnout. Not only does this affect your pastor, but their family as well. It's important that you realize that your Pastor needs not only your support at church, but your friendship outside of church as well. Please pray for your Pastor, and don't be afraid to let him know you are doing so. (and don't forget to include their wife and children if they have them.) This will go a long way in lifting their spirits.

Of course there are many ways in which you can show appreciation for your Pastor and you can find lots of them by doing an on-line search. But to help you out, I have listed a few just to get you started. And remember... you don't have to wait until October begin. Make a point to show your support year-round. :)

• Flood your pastor's mailbox with cards. Choose a week and get the word out quietly...this pastor appreciation idea works best if it's a surprise. You could choose a week that you know will be especially difficult for your pastor. Or, flood his mailbox while he is away on vacation or at a conference so that he is welcomed home by an avalanche of greetings.

• Have a plaque made with an inscription (such as):

In Deepest Appreciation of
[Pastor's Name] and [His or Her] Family
for Sacrificial Service to the Body of Jesus Christ at
[Church Name]
October [Year]

• Pastors feel appreciated when their families are cared for. Take the pastor's kids to a water park. Or pick them up and go out for bowling and pizza. Take the kids shopping for school supplies before the start of school in the Fall. Upgrade the family computer or pay for high speed internet access.

• Give the gift of special memories. This is the perfect gift for any time. Or, start an annual tradition. Each year on the same date give your pastor a photo book that chronicles the previous year’s events.

• Give the most practical pastor gift of all: a gift that allows your pastor to choose exactly what he or she wants! Give them a Walmart Appreciation Gift Card! Or, other similar card.
  

• The perfect pastor gift is something that can save him both time and money. Great bible study software can do both. Good bible software contains many of the books that pastors normally purchase to help them with their studies. And by putting all those books within a click of a mouse saves time.
  

Pastor Gift Ideas for the Entire Family: What does your pastor's family like to do for fun?

• Bowling gift certificate
• Pizza gift certificate
• State park vehicle sticker
• Miniature golf certificate
• Loan them your camper, RV, or boat
• Prepare a picnic lunch (call first)
• State or County fair tickets
• Loan them your timeshare
• High speed internet

Pastor Gift Ideas for Both the Pastor and His Spouse

• An extravagant wedding anniversary celebration
• An overnight at a Bed-n-Breakfast
• A Pastor's and wives retreat
• Babysitting
• Gift certificate to a restaurant
• An extra weekend off to visit family or friends

Simple/Practical Pastor Gift Ideas: (Simple gifts are great for giving any time...for no special reason!)

• Restaurant Gift Certificates
• Greeting Cards
• Take the pastor's kids to the beach or other outing with your family
• Prepare supper for the pastor's family (call first)
• Tickets to a local community event
• Pay a utility bill
• Give a certificate for a free oil change in his car
  
• Take some buckets and a vacuum over to the pastor's house and wash and clean out their vehicle
  
• Mow the pastor's lawn (unless he prefers to do it himself)
• Tires for his car
• Seal his driveway
• Put a new roof on his house
• Replace a broken window
• Diapers for a new baby
• Pay for a new suit
  
• Pay for the kid's music lessons
• Pay for the kids to attend summer camp
• A gas card